Dearest Ma,

A photo taken during our USA trip 2011

“Anak, baba na. Kain ka na.”, “Anak, anong nararamdaman mo? Okay ka lang ba?”, “Anak, uminom ka na ba ng gamot mo?”, “Anak, anong kailangan mo?”, “Anak, mag-exercise ka naman. Ang taba-taba mo na.”—just some of your few dialogues every day. You always say these, but hands down to you, Ma, for never getting tired to remind me with all these every single day.

I know this is the first time I will ever write you a letter without being told to do so. I have always wanted to write you one since then, but I just couldn’t make up my mind. So I think I just have my adrenaline rush tonight so here I am, squeezing everything from my mind.

First of all, I want to thank you for everything you have done for me. Ma, thank you for your genuine love that only a mother can give to her children. Thank you for being so selfless every single millisecond of your life. Thank you for the care, patience, support, encouragement, knowledge, comfort. Ma, thank you for everything. I know thanking you for everything will take forever because you have given me everything in this world. You are the reason for my existence. Thank you for letting me live in this world. Thank you, Ma. I love you very much.

I want to take this opportunity to apologize for all the wrong deeds I have done to you. Sorry, Ma, for causing your head to ache sometimes. Sorry if sometimes I hurt your feelings so badly. If only you know how my heart breaks everytime I see you cry your heart out. I feel like I am the worst daughter in the world. Sorry for not being so showy. I know I am not that sweet-cheesy-affectionate type of daughter. So I just put into my writings everything. Sorry, Ma. I didn’t mean everything I did wrong.

If ever you still don’t know, Ma, our US trip was the best 28 days of my life with you. Thank you for that. I learned a lot of things about life, and I had the chance to feel something I thought I couldn’t have here in the Philippines—enjoying without thinking anything about our safety, and the like. I was very happy that I got to feel what it feels like having a mom which I don’t get to feel at home usually maybe because of your busy schedule because of your businesses, but I understand. It felt good to be taken care of with your own hands, to eat food you cooked every morning, to wear pajamas you prepared every night, and just the feeling of having a mother alone, and no one else.

I always wonder why when everything seems so bad, whenever I feel down and empty, whenever I feel like I want to just escape from all the problems and challenges life offers me, you always know it even though I don’t tell anything about everything. Maybe there is indeed a special connection between a mother and her child. And when everything is against me, it always feels so magical that with just one warm hug from you can encourage me to rise up again and do better next time.  Thank you for always being there for me.

Ma, I don’t know what more to say. But I am hoping that one day, when the right time comes, I can say everything to you personally. But for now, I just want you to know how grateful I am to have you as my mother. And I thank God for that every single day of my life. And when the time comes that I would already be meeting Him, I would absolutely request you to be my mother again in my life after death, and the life after that. I love you, Ma. Always have, always will. Happy mother’s day!

Love,

Jamie

It’s been a while since I last updated my Tumblr account, fellows. Hope I could catch up with everything I missed. =) Good night!

qfilart:

Should I fall for you? 

(On loop for this weekend!)

immasupernatural:

Minsan kase gusto lang nito iparealize sa isang tao na, sana maisip mo na magkakaganto tayo bago mo ginawa yung pagkakamali mo.